Sometimes

Sometimes I think it would be easier to be weak

Let it all get me, you know?

Sometimes fighting is too hard.

Trying tedious after so long.

Sometimes I wonder what its all for

all the fighting, living, trying to love.

And sometimes it gets bad

Like when I’m tired, crying, and shaking with fear.

But then out of the blue sometimes, it all feels so good, like its worth it after all

Sometimes…

Buffy Survey I found

Okay, so I found this survey on Kristina Horner's Blog and I'm going to do it. This is going to be hard because when I first fell in love with Buffy I was only 12. Yes, that was 13 years ago. I just got back into it maybe 3 or 4 years ago. But I'll try my best to be as honest as I can.

1. The first character I fell in love with:  Xander.

2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: That's hard, but I'll have to go with Spike. I really fell in love with him after getting into it again. I also used to hate Oz but fell in love with him as time went on. 

3. The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Buffy. I don't hate her, but Buffy has gotten on my nerves at times, and she is not my favourite character. *doges rotten fruit* 

4. The character I love that everyone else hates: Ethan Rayne (well I'm not sure if he's hated, but I doubt many remember him).

5. The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Willow. She just gotten really annoying after high school ended.

6. The character I would shag anytime: Xander (but of course I wouldn't turn Spike down either).

7. The character I’d want to be like: A later cordelia. Confident, beautify, but still a bad ass.

8. The character I’d slap: Harmony. I hate her.

9. A pairing that I love: Oz/Willow.

10. A pairing that I despise: Giles/Ophelia (it never added to anything, and I despise her for not being able to handle it and leaving Giles).

11. Favorite male character (add a quote or favorite line): Xander

"I am the bug man co co cachu!
12. Favorite female character (add a quote or favourite line):This ones a little harder, but probably Anya. Plus her quote at the end of the body is brilliant! 


"But I don't understand! I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean I knew her and then she's , and then there's just a body and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. And Xander's crying and not talking and I was having fruit punch and I thought well Joyce will never have anymore fruit punch ever, and she'll never have eggs or yawn or brush her hair, not ever and no one will explain to me why!" 

13. My five favorite characters: Xander, Spike, Giles, Oz, Anya

14. My five least favorite characters: Drusiclla, Shneider, Harmony, Darla

15. Which character I am most like: It used to be Willow, but now I'd have to say a girl Xander.

16. My deep, dark fandom secret: I once went as Willow for halloween- only she had been bitten by a vampire, shrunk, cut and died her hair, and was being Sailor Moon for halloween. (My favourite costume EVA!)

An actual writing blog post---I know, it suprises me too

Okay, so I'm really behind in my youtube watching (and no, that's not some sort of euphomism). It's seriously going to take me forever to get up to date with my vlogbrothers, and wheezywaiters, and the last of the fiveawesomegirls, italktosnakes, kieracass, kalebnation, jacksonpierce And more. Anyway, my point is, I.hate.sauercraut. lol, actually I do, but my real point is that I was watching a video by one of the people on my youtube sub list (AltoYourClef) and it introduced me to an amazing thing. It's a site, and its for editing. I checked it out and it's really helped me with my edting (and self eestem, hehe). Anyway it's simple. You just paste in a part of your story, and it finds things for you like weak words, sentences that end in propostions, those kind of things. It also looks at words spelt wrong but I don't like this cause I know the words it says are spelt wrong are right. Like 'to', its the right freaking 'to' EditMinion!!!!

Anyway it has been helping me and I'm going to include a link so my writing friends can take a look.

http://editminion.com/

Enjoy!

Give me something to write about...editing

Okay, so my editing is going well. Well, well in theory. I still have sixty some pages to go before I'm finished my first round of serious edits. I was going to finish it last night, in a frantic dash to the finish, but,uh, that never happened. Anyway, it will probably get done in a day or two, no biggie.

I had an amazing feel a few days ago. I had that moment when you're reading your edits and you see how much better it is, and how the whole novel is coming together. It was amazing. I still have my moments of frustration, and moments when I feel like a bad writer, but in the end I won't give up. I'm finishing this. I'm getting this done. I'm getting published.

This novel, Worse Than Death, is different because its the only one I've actually worked hard on getting done. And by done I mean done for publication. Usually I write, edit quickly (if at all), and then send out. Yes, bad idea, I know. But this time I feel like a real writer. It's great.

Nightmares (either on or away from Elm St.)

Finally! I've been having trouble getting this site to work on my
Cell phone and allow me to post. So all night I've had an idea for a post. But its changed a bit. For you see, I had wanted to write about a re-occurring nightmare I've been having; but now I want to talk about nightmares in general.

You see, I never used to have nightmares. Maybe once in a blue moon I'd have a nightmare, but never regularly. Now things are changing. I've been have way more then I'd like. And I see why people hate them. I used to like them because they were rare and usually fun scary like watching a horror movie. But now they are the type where I'm glad to wake up because it means they're over. Nightmares seem to go for the real fear in you. Well they do for me. They get me shaking, and filled with dread. I hate it. But its my nightmare last night that I really hate. *shudders*

I don't get them, so watching scary movies doesn't give them. Well now I can't say that! I watched '
'The Rite' last night for the second time. Its scary yea, but it doesn't make me wet my pants or anything. But yet I had a dream about possession last night. Something that terrifies me in real life. The idea, the feeling that it could happen, the helplessness. Oh, and to be clear I wasn't possessed in the dream but it made me feel I could be.

Now onto my re-occurring nightmare. It's simple. I'm in this house but a part of it is haunted. I've been having this dream for a while but two nights ago it changed. I saw the ghost. I was terrified but I still decided to talk to it, be nice to it. And it was that creepy nice that you know need down is actually evil. And way it touched me, causing me to wake up (either in real life or another dream, I can't remember). And it was pure terror for a mila second. Gah!

Anyway that's it. I got the idea for this from my friend Marc's blog (cannedelectrons.blogspot.com) go check him out, he's cool.

Well I'm off to the library! :) laters